4:15 A.M.
Its hard.. definitely had.. today at 4 a.m. in the morning when I am awake writing this blog, am having probably, the most difficult time of my life… it requires much guts, patience and determination to survive this.. there is much chance of me breaking down or giving up… but yet I will try my best..to sustain through it…. I was warned …. “it might be the most testing period of your life and the one who holds his patience will make through” but I shrugged it off..”ha, I would get through in the first slot… but nope.. here I am .. on my first day… jobless. Once again being jobless haunts me… especiallly people around u are so busy they hv no time to talk 2 u… u hv rubbed ur ass in heat for two years and then present it as a acjievement and it becomes the biggest drawback for u… people sympathizing with u.. ur roomy saying”its all random” … ur best frn whom u hv beeen consoling for last few days is now in a much better off position and the worst part”u call her and inform her of her success and your failure”
Its damn tough….. remember this phase… I have been through .. last year .. when suddenly at around 2 when I got a call from the person most important to me in life.. who asked about my roll no and then declared that I was not able to get through and she made it with flying colours.. I was not able to sleep for the rest of the night.. but that was a blow that came once but here.. its every hour.. every moment a new strike is in store for u… peolple counting successes in number…. It has been quantified and in that parameter I am yet to open my account… yet not invited to display my capabilities in the arena… I am sitting as the audience .. clapping and cheering all my friends.. the only difference is that here people on field performing are more in number… its said that its heals with time.. but believe me its not. Its infact increasing at some damn high rate and its becoming unsustainable… I can see surprise or shock whatever say in people’s eye when they find me here… its as if I hav become the perfect example of the fact or the rumour that “ITS ALL RANDOM”.
8:31
The day when XL haunted me
I always liked this place… out of the dirty corporate world.. looking for some fun .. craving for some motherly love .. this was the most apt place for me to do my MBA.. infact in term breaks too .. I have spent most of my days in the campus.. because I like this place.. but I never thought that the same place would turn into a haunted home for me one day.. everybody is here in the campus.. but yet I am not able to find anybody… the lobby has never been so silent… not a single whispers of footstep.. no sound of closing of lifts… no knocking… no shouting of names.. suddenly eth has come to a stand still.. the journey from my room to mess has been never so long.. I was not able to trace a single human being on my way… I was the first one to have the breakfast today in mess.. or lets say the only one.. yup..
Then I found out few in suits.. and then I realised.. everybody has moved in the arena.. and playing it well while at the audience stand I think I am the only one who is standing and cheering.. rest all have gone to sleep.. dejected, depressed and shattered.. all of us saw It coming.. but none of us anticipated it to be so heavy.. it takes ur heart of ur body.. u want to cry.. u cant.. u try to judge.. u cant.. u want to argue.. u cant.. the only thing u can do is wait.. and wait.. so lets play the waiting game…
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